A Passage to India

Serendipitously we managed to arrive in Nepal on 27 September or National Tourist Day. As the by-line to all the banners read "From the imagery of Jules Verne to the 21st century" Got that? Anyway the first we heard of it was at the airport when random men ran up to us and threw lehs of fresh flowers around our necks. Now that's an arrival! No smooch though. Every person at the airport was so sweet and they even let me pay for my visa in Aussie dollars before affixing it to the final blank page in my passport. Such a difference to our arrival in India a month ago.

We'd disembarked from our flight to Bangkok wearing our best clothes and big smiles to be visiting India for the first time and patiently lined up at the immigration desk. When my turn came I presented my passport to the scowling gentleman behind the desk and stood back to wait for my stamp. After a few minutes he grunted,

"What is the condition of this passport?"

Odd question. Does he mean that the passport has conditions attached? Like he thinks it's a temporary passport or something? I didn't want to say the wrong thing so I asked for clarification.

"Excuse me?"
"What... is... the... condition... of... this... passport?" he repeated, slowly and deliberately and decidedly more menacingly now.
"I'm sorry I don't understand the question."
"You don't understand my question?"
"No."

He sighed and went back to rummaging through papers, then looked at me again, holding up my passport at arms length like it was a steaming dog turd,
"Is this a passport?"
"Yes it's an Australian passport. It says so right there on the cover."
"This passport is not valid. Go over there and take a seat."

This was the moment I got that dreadful cold feeling in the pit of my stomach like I'd just gone over the drop of a rollercoaster. He was going to kick me back to Thailand.

"Hang on wait a minute. That passport is most certainly valid. It doesn't expire until 2007."
"Look at the condition it's in. It's dirty and old. You cannot use this passport anymore."
"Well it's over 8 years old, you can't expect it to look brand new."
"These things do not happen overnight sir. But now it is in a state where you cannot use it."
"Actually I've used it to cross six international borders in the last couple of months with no problem whatsoever. Plus the Indian consulate in Thailand had no problem issuing a visa in that passport last week. I don't quite understand what's wrong."

He looked down and grumbled and mumbled for a little while as I shuffled nervously from one foot to the other. Eventually I heard the sweet sweet sound of stamping and he flung the passport at me with a dismissive "Get a new passport sir."

Welcome to India indeed!