The foul stench

This is following on from the last post about Sapa. I know that was weeks ago, but things have been tough for intrepid bloggers in Vietnam. Finding a computer with a CD drive so I can post photos is about as difficult as eating a slippery spring roll using two strands of cooked spaghetti as chopsticks.

So back in Sapa we were tossed out of the jeep at 3pm drenched in sweat from head to toe and wearing filthy clothes after three days of trudging through rice paddies and let me tell you, we were damn ready to hit our palatial room (and more importantly, it's cleansing shower) which we had booked at the Queen Hotel before we left for the walk. But wait, the room "is problem". So sorry, but people are in the room and have not checked out yet, we'd have to wait until 4pm to get in there. Sure it's only an hour, but at that point another hour without showering, putting on clean clothes and collapsing onto a bed in an air-conditioned room was just too much. We shouldered our packs and checked another five hotels on the street, but it was Saturday night and they were all full with people looking for a bit of Sunday market action the next day. So we slunk back to the foyer of the Queen hotel and grabbed chairs to wallow in a funky miasma of dried sweat while we watched the quality Jean Claude Van Damme action movie currently showing on cable TV. The one where he plays twins, incredible acting job.

Four o'clock rolls around and we're led.. straight past the room we booked and around the corner to a tiny little unwindowed room at the back of the hotel. When I pointed out to the hotel guy that this wasn't in fact our room, we launched into some incredible (and incredibly difficult to follow) story about people who were staying in our room who had gone to the bank but the bank wouldn't help them, so they went to the police, but the police wouldn't help them either, so they stole the policeman's book (?) and took it back to their hotel room and then the police came to the hotel and arrested the people and took them off to jail and now the police are keeping the room so we cannot have it. Maybe they'd be finished with it later and we could have it. Clear?

A couple of hours later I wandered down to reception to ask if we could have the room we booked please, if the police are finished with it. The girl I spoke to looked perplexed and confided in me that "This hotel has problems". Before I could respond the lad from earlier came up and said "Yes you can have the room now, let's go!" Off we trotted to our lovely big room... and once again straight past it to another pokey little room next door which was identical to the room we were already in.

"Here, you have this room. Much better."
"Uh, but this is not the room we booked. We booked 402 next door."
"This room same."
"No, this room is completely different and about a third of the size. Why would we bother moving into this room when the room we're in now is exactly the same?"
"This room much better. This room have... THE VIEW!!!" and with a flourish he whipped back the curtains to reveal a completely opaque wall of white fog.
"Sorry, where's the view?"
"Here!" he indicated the impenetrable cloud
"Ah right, fine. Well if we can't have the room we booked, we'll just be off to Hanoi on the overnight train then. Can we buy tickets from you?"

Bear in mind the hotel staff had been pushing us to buy train tickets to Hanoi from them every time we saw them. They get a nice fat cut.

"No. We're not booking tickets. We're not doing anything."
"Why not?"
"My uncle just died"
"Oh. I'm sorry. Are you ok?"
"It doesn't matter" he replied with a shrug.

This was too much, next thing he'd be telling me his dog ate his homework. So I scooted down the stairs and tried to flag down a minibus running to the train station, over an hour's drive away. The last minibus roared off down the street just as I got to the bottom of the stairs. Apparently they all leave Sapa at 6.30pm. This was 6.31pm. I asked around, there was no way to get to the train station tonight.

Well turns out our little buddy was telling the truth in the end after all. Next morning we were awoken at 6am by beautiful amplified Vietnamese music and some singing. Stumbling out of the room I saw that the foyer of the hotel had been completely cleared off all it's furniture and now contained a table of offerings, incense and a coffin. An awning had been strung from the hotel to the building across the road and underneath it the street was closed off and filled with plastic chairs as what seemed like the entire town sat listening to the music wearing white headbands of mourning. Amazing ceremony, quite beautiful and it went on literally all day. Interesting times.