In China there are rules about absolutely everything, marked on signs absolutely everywhere. These can occasionally be a little confusing
Never fear! After a month of deciphering these little buggers we've compiled a handy quick reference guide to make your time in China a little bit easier.
While holidaying in China you'll probably want to visit some historical sights and, if you're anything like me, the first thing you'll want to do when you get in there is a spot of hunting! But please make an effort to control your animal-killing tendencies and abide by rule 6:
Also, while it's completely understandable that scenic attractions like the Summer Palace or the Forbidden City might well enrage you, you're not to vent your spleen by thrashing the innocent ticket sellers, as per rule 7 above.
In fact thrashing of any kind is severly frowned upon in China
By now all this resisting of violent impulses has meant you've worked up quite a hunger, so it's time to chow down on some traditional Chinese cuisine
in an authenic Chinese restaurant
After lunch it's off to relax in the park... but make sure you don't relax your bodily functions too much
Even more of a concern to the Chinese authority is the rampent teasing of shrimps which goes on in parks all over the country
Please people, if you want to tease animals there are designated areas set up where you can pay for the privilege
When you've finished your cicada-teasing, freely urinating and shitting, staff-beating and animal-killing picnic, we'd like you to dispose of your rubbish thoughtfully. After all China is a world leader in environmental protection
So be sure to deposit your trash in one of the clearly marked recycling bins
If you've so far managed to avoid arrest you're doing well. But on your way home to the hotel make sure you don't too excited. Maintain a sedate walk and you'll be just fine.
2 comments:
Hi guys!
Okay, not sure how these blog sites work, but it seems to me like you need some comments! Great work with the site, I've been tuning in every once in a while to see what you've been up to and I have to say that it's always a laugh! Mike, you're great with the comments!! The pictures are beautiful too, really breathtaking! It looks like a fabulous experience, thanks so much for sharing. Hope you're both doing well and not getting into too much trouble (sounded like you were getting a bit tempted with those signs). Love to both of you from the Lampards on the Hill!
Ah! the hegemony of Engrish dies ugry death!
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